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Tears can not stop when laying in bed, and all the memories about my baby Freya slip my mind. It’s been a week after the disaster happened, I feel like years struggling these days. Crying and grief stay with me all the time, I am like a dead man lying on the bed,don’t wanna drink or eat.
Suddenly everything changed,no more my baby crying sound,no more beast feeding,no my baby’s giggling.
My husband told me my baby Freya already go back to my belly. She wants more stronger body and the soul left with me. I need take care of myself first, Eat for Freya,sleep for Freya. The hope is the best excuse for me to move on.
The thing happed so fast. I still can’t believe my baby gone like a wind. The SIDS leave me full of questions and self loathing. Thousands of “IF” struggled me in my mind. Why this happened to my family ? All the prays means nothing but sadness.
This is my first babygirl at 30th years old. I though my baby is my best birthday gift of 30th,but it’s like a joking and grab my precious baby away. God is just kidding me. Why envy my life ? Why let this happened to my innocent baby girl? But I never regret to have her,she is a precious gift forever to me,even though only 4 and half month memories together.
When settle Freya’s toys clothes and other stuff, the memories come into my mind with the happy time but sad feelings. Actually I am afraid to touch the weakest part…
